This morning was just one of those mornings where I wake up, already feeling the negative vibes of the day. Moping around isn't going to make things better, but apparently, that's what I did. Just the vibes of waking up to start another long week at a shitty job & just other things mixed in as well. This kind of leads me into the topic of why I love roots music. Roots music always has the positive message to send out. It's always about positivity, love, unity, teaching, respect, being humble.
"So just choose well & keep on pushing through, & only love & glory shall await you." A line that stood out to me this morning on the way to work. It blew me away. I never really gave this song a chance, but this morning I did & that line just spoke out to me. It totally changed the mindset for my day. Kept me thinking positive. Eventually, it got me though the day & it turned out to be a real chill day. Except for the fact that I had to drive the UHAUL back to the store from the offsite. Driving huge trucks isn't fun, haha. But other than that, I had good talk amongst my coworkers & pretty much just chilled as I worked.
Feeling the urge to write the things in my head all day led me to this point, right here, right now. Feelings & thoughts about work, life, the weekend, trips, motivation, school, the people who truly matter to me, photography, ideas, music, things that happened in the past few days, skateboarding, the list goes on. Telling you, Reader, it was just one of those days where you're not fully there. I was just all lost up in the mind.
Work at this point isn't worth it. I'm losing it. Sure, I get fat paychecks, but it's not buying me happiness so why have it. Sure, I need money to live off of so that's one thing I need to take into consideration. But life at work isn't worth it anymore. In about a month, I'm gone. My boss lady has been talking to me about whats going to happen if she leaves. I'm actually excited that she's taking on other opportunities because she shouldn't be working the way she is either. District manager is an asshole, I don't want to work for this guy anymore.
Life at this point, I couldn't be more thankful. I've been living a new life & it's been chill to me. Taking one day at a time, living in the moment, I'll be fine. Can't rush the good, you got to ride it.
The weekends?! Hmm, I live for the weekends! It's my 2 days to live life, man. Lately, I haven't been feeling ANYTHING but the chillness of life. All I want to do is chill. I'd be down for a mellow skate sesh at the park, but other than that, it's time to straight relax.
Trips. Japan in February? $850 something round-trip. Deal. Make one of my life long dreams come true. Roam Japan with a camera. Please join in.
Motivation. It's what I need & it's what I'm looking for. I got a taste of it saturday night at Janel's art show. She amazes me beyond words. Got me thinking about a few opportunities that I passed up. It hurts to think about it. Why I passed it up? Because of my job... Can't let my retarded job stop me from my dreams.
School is what I miss. I need to go back. It's fun. I miss sitting in class, I miss doing work. Why I gave up school? Vans... The way I work, I can't even go to school.
The people who truly matter to me. If you feel me, you know who you are. I shouldn't have to list names. I can't even stress how much I appreciate you all. I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for you all.
Photography. You're killing me.
Ideas & music. Ideas of photos, ideas of projects & collaborations. Ideas for music. We need to jam again, fellas. I was listen to our recordings today at work... brought back the feeling of jamming music!
Things that happened in the past few days. No work. Chill mode. Been hanging out with Janel the load & I'm thankful. Being that all I want to do is chill on the weekends nowadays, that's the girl I need to chill with. Someone who keeps me at ease all the time, someone who makes me feel like nothing else matters, someone who made the past disappear, someone who makes me laugh, smile, all of the above. Love every moment I spend with this girl. She motivates me, opens my mind, gives me new feelings. I had plans on not looking for anything for a long time & just focus on myself & life. She came into Vans one day & blew that plan into pieces. I thought to myself, for someone to do this, they must be something special, incredible, amazing, or whatever you want to call it. I still trip out to this day. I just want to say, you're amazing. I'm thankful for you ruining my plans! You definitely are something special. The past few days have been amazing. We definitely got something good. You're different. We're different. I love growing with you & taking on new things.
This blog is so mixed up, but it's real because that's exactly how my mind was all day.
I hope you enjoyed my mind, Reader.
2 comments:
hey man, i hope this quote means as much to you as it does to me but...
"we need money to survive, not to live"
we will always have enough and get what we need. another day to live. lessons to be learned. a sky to sleep under and a ground to sleep on. otherwise... we wouldn't be here.
You already know how I feel... :) And like I've said before. DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANT TO DO. Don't let anyone including myself and anything hold you back. I know you say I don't hold you back, but I do want you to be content in life at a certain point. I don't think we'll ever be and shouldn't ever be fully content. Life should be putting you on your toes every time, but it is nice when you're at peace. It's amazing... Just don't lose focus on your blessings as well. Y'know, the ones that remain: your fam & friends. You know who they are.
As for school & photography. I say, DO IT. Thinking about going back maybe next semester. We can be one of those people at starbucks that take up all the tables & chairs and study. Haha Barnes & Noble mo betta though!
*Sigh. Life is beautiful, Matt!!! :) Thankful for you, foreals. You helped me along the way. We're both different better people now & constantly growing and we're crossing paths. The past lead us to now. Let's cross over.
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