Change

Change. Something that I've been thinking about for a couple weeks now, but kept it under wraps from the world. I've changed as a person since I came back from Cali & did a lot of "life" searching. But lately, I've changed in other ways, too. I can honestly say I'm still the same person, but if you feel otherwise, all I can say is I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm just not into a lot of things that I was into months ago. I'm still down to drink, party, get a little rip & have fun with the bros. But I'm picky. When I do those things, I want to relax. I want to feel content & safe. I'm tired of drinking in some sketchy parking lot or some sketchy party & always worrying about shady vibes or what can happen. I like parties with good vibes. Good people in a good place. I'm over shady people & shady situations. It's your life, why not live it comfortably. I can't even stress how much I'm not down with shady people. Or just people with big egos. Chill the fuck out. Don't be so caught up in yourself & stop trying so hard to make the world notice you. Just fucking live & be yourself.

Respect. I'll always show someone respect. Especially for someone who I just met. It's hard to tell if that person is sketchy or not, but I'll still show respect. & especially for those who I trust with everything. Respect is important & that's one thing this world has forgotten. Respect & trust. It only hit me the other day how important respect & trust is. My friends & I, we put each other down, we say some uncalled for things, we do it all. But it's all love! & we know it. No matter how much of a dickhead we can be to each other, I respect them. I always did, I always will. Straight up.

I'm going to stop feeling bad for "bailing" on people because I'm not down to do certain things anymore. Just accept the fact that I'm not down as much as I used to be. I feel that there's a certain time & place for certain things, that's all I'm saying. I'm going to stop feeling bad because I'm going to start accepting myself even more. It's your life, live for yourself y'know? For the past 2 weeks, I found myself feeling bad countless times. Feeling bad because, I guess you could say the word "bailed", on friends or things that went down. I'm just not down for some things now days. Sorry friends if you can't accept that. Being unemployed at the moment, I'm finding all this lost time. All I want to do is chill! Nothing wrong with just chilling now days. I'm still down to everything. I'm still down to skate, drink, go out all night, do what ever it is we used to do...but somethings just got to chill out now. I keep saying sorry because I don't want to offend anybody, but I'm just trying to be straight up.

I spend a lot of time with the lady & I love it. Nothing is wrong with that. I guarantee that if anybody out there found someone just as special, you'd want all the time to just go out & explore, or just stay in to watch DVDs, or just straight up enjoy each other's company.

Everyone has other things to attend to & different times. That's how it is.

I'm tired of trusting shady fucking people. I know my real bros & that's all that matters.

Things just got to chill out. People just got to chill the fuck out now days. Situations just got to chill the fuck out now days. The world isn't going to chill out for you, so be careful. You feel like you're going to step into something sketchy? Listen to yourself then. Because you'll only regret it if something does happen. Better safe than sorry. If you missed out on something because nothing bad happened, it's not the end of the world. There's always going to be more moments. Your friends are always going to be there. Sometimes you just got to look out for yourself, too. Yeah, you can think positive all the time. That's good. I'm still working on that. But thinking positive isn't ALWAYS going to save you. Just be careful is all I'm saying. We all just got to realize who's real in our lives & just live. Start living for yourself & let your mind mature. Some habits got to come to an end. Watch who you trust. Respect others who deserve it all, but most importantly...respect yourself.